balance writing

Meandering

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I am supposed to be writing the piece for my audition but my brain doesn’t want me to write it just yet. And so I meander.

If you are a writer, you will likely understand.

I write a little but find myself distracted by the Google Chrome icon in my task bar which, to me, looks a lot like a camera shutter.

This makes me think of my father. I start to research where to entrust the development of the ancient film in his 1970s cameras that Mom still has so I click Chrome to browse a few labs.

While browsing I remember how he used to look holding the camera in his beach chair next to Mom at Jones Beach on Long Island and I think about collecting sea glass in my bright yellow pail.

Then remember that the owner of the Fairport Brewery just asked me if the beautiful ring I wear every day with my mother’s wedding band is made of sea glass. It is not.

But…then I wonder…

Soooooooo…. I google “Sea Glass Jewelry” and pop about on Etsy for a while. The pieces are vibrant and some are adorned with lovely sayings about determination which make me think of my daughter…

…who happens to need the contact info for my tattoo artist in Oregon. Her roommate would like to see him as well.

I find his website and text her the information as I browse his ink portfolio for possible additions to my Hummingbird tattoo when I make my way through Ashland, Oregon in the summer. And then I remember that I haven’t yet booked a place to stay in San Francisco or San Diego on my baseball stadium tour.

I check my hotel points.

I jump to Facebook to ask a few friends if I might borrow a couch on the way through.

And then I daydream about driving down Route 101 in a mustang convertible.

I check rental rates. And the mustang colors. And peruse beautiful spas along the coast near San Luis Obispo for the one day I will have free. Hell, why not?!!

And then I order a baseball cap.

Which reminds me that the twins need softball pants and that I need to put their upcoming softball tournaments on my calendar for the summer so I check the Blazers Team Page and add the events to Outlook.

While in Outlook I see my next acupuncture appointment and remember that Dan suggested that I add Qigong for centering so I learn a bit about this art.

And then check the Zen Center for upcoming retreats.

And then think about my other healing work with includes some research investigating aggressive modalities that my new trauma counselor recommended. So I read for a bit about the work I have ahead.

And then I remember that she asked me to journal as well…

…which reminds me that I am supposed to write because my March audition comes all too soon and I haven’t yet written a complete piece.

So I settle back with my hands on the keyboard and…

Nope, wrong again! I write this short blog instead.

But, now I have all of this: vivid memories of my parents at the beach while I collected sea glass, a firm grounding in my daughter’s determination, prioritization of my children and the things they love (like softball) without ever losing my commitment to myself with a beautiful adventure from Seattle to San Diego in the works all the while healing and growing and centering and writing and being vibrant and beautiful like the Hummingbird tattoo on my side.

Sometimes a good meander is all you really need to get started.

Now I am ready to write.

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