Sometimes I don’t have money for food. There. I said it.
Society says I should be embarrassed by this and, the truth is, I am. I’m “supposed” to be getting ahead. And I’m “supposed” to have a huge nest egg for college. And I’m “supposed” to be able to pay for new running shoes or hitting lessons or a summer vacation. But, instead I drive a 10 year old minivan with 203K miles and I worry every month that another health crisis will put my family under for good. And my guess is that I am not the only one.
But, I feel gratitude for the warm house when the wind chill is -25 outside. And I feel gratitude for four children cheerfully chattering in the kitchen instead of only three. And I feel gratitude for the feel of the keyboard when I hit “send” for the Spring’s college tuition for my son. And a great deal of gratitude for the fact that I can finally afford to see the chiropractor because this aching body which doesn’t handle Rochester winters very well any more. And for my job, even though I don’t enjoy it, because it makes these things possible. I may not have been able to do all of the “supposed tos” but I did all of this by myself. And more.
As a result I do not take it for granted when I can treat my family to an extravagant meal ~ vibrant colors, and flavors, and scents ~ like tonight. Gingerroot and dragon fruit; blackberries, chives and asparagus; all enjoyed in the company of one another in our warm home on cold night. If you have never truly done without or been worried about where your next meal will come from then you have been robbed! It is only because of the challenges that am I able to appreciate what I do have in equal measure. And it is bliss.